tooting your own cheesy horn

We are lucky to live near the Market Basket in Salem, where can be found Macaroni and Cheese, Made with Real Cheese! Calling attention to the fact that On-Cor, unlike those other producers, proudly declines to exploit an apparent legal loophole that allows a product to be called "Macaroni and Cheese", even if it contains no cheese!

No such deceit for these guys, no sir. In the high stakes world of macaroni and cheese advertising, they've boldly drawn the line at the cheese, and taken their stand by God. Imagine the marketing work behind this. The frozen foods section of the On-Cor account assigned to some junior advertiser (or maybe those high-stakes guys on "Trust Me") who dreamt once, perhaps, of the DeBeers account, pondering the product differentiation. Can't really use a nutritional angle, so comes up with this. Next stop, the ravioli--"Good source of calcium and protein!"

the high stakes world of advertising

The trailer for a new TNT show "Trust Me" runs this blurb:

In the high stakes world of advertising, only the best of friends will survive.

Google "high stakes world of advertising" to see its use, not ironically, by the consumerist-mad Boston Globe, in an article about amateur ads, Shopping.com selling a Mad Man Wall Calendar (wow, talk about high stakes!), and other places.

"High stakes" advertising is an oxymoron. A lot of money changes hands in advertising of course, but that doesn't mean that any of it actually matters. What their job boils down to:











Here are the two stars of Trust Me:

The one on the left used to be on uh,
Sex and the City no--Will & Grace. He's thinking, is the cheese too orange?

The one on the right was on Will & Grace no--something called "Ed". He's thinking, are the wedges of cheese wide enough?

If I close my eyes, I cannot these two guys apart.

cheese grating jobs

Get you some!

New coffee maker with the cappuccino attachment. I need it! What's cappuccino, anyway. Get a new fridge. SUV. You could use some new clothes. Who doesn't need another pair of Nikes. Cashmere. Fur-trimmed chainsaw. Marble-topped kitchen cabinets. Patriots buy red white and blue Harleys, whether they have the money or not! 35 hp router. Replacement windows. Telescopes. Fishing reels. Pimpstar wheels. Too-high heels.

Because at some point, our jobs all became like Senior Product Manager for Deluxe Cheese Graters, Stainless Steel Division.

Growth requires that people consume more than they need. If you don't buy a stainless steel cheese grater because you already have one, or because your aluminum cheese grater is good enough, or because you don't have enough money to buy a cheese grater, or because you don't even eat cheese or even, most perverse of all, because you simply choose to get by without a cheese grater, the Senior Product Manager is out of a job. And so, eventually, are you, because you like most people have a job that depends on people buying shit they don't need.

So the government has to push money into the economy, to get people to stop being afraid of spending, and get them to start buying those cheese graters again, so we can keep our cheese-grating jobs.

That's the solution.