Thursday, June 22, 2006

the mother of all stupid birdhouses

The sort of thing a crazy unemployed person does. To be stained or painted in the fall. The roof is indoor panelling, not meant to be wet. It should be stained soon to keep it from warping. It's only temporary anyway. The left and right fronts come out like separate windows so in the morning the right panel can be removed and Bella's little cage can be hung, with him in it. Replace the panel, open the outer door, reach in and open his cage door, and he has the run of the place. There's a water pool, a hosta, a swing, things to chew on, bugs, doodads to play with. Room to fly from end to end.

I wouldn't mind living it it myself, if I were a bit smaller.

But he's miserable of course. He just sits in there facing the back door and occasionally emitting an ear-splitting peep. All he wants is companionship. Which means sitting on my shoulder ever at the ready to bite ear, or in hand sitting on thumb being held like ice cream cone getting neck stroked by index finger, ever ready to bite hand. I know he has bonded to me because he bites me slightly less than everybody else. Nobody else bothers with him because after one or two of those little can-opener type bites you say, screw you little bird. Kids are scared of him. So, I'm thinking of a $20 parakeet with his own cage could be hung on the left side, see how they get along. Then build a nice big (not this big) cage for the keet inside.

I want a timid bird disinterested in humans. Bella's too needy which we'd be happy to accommodate if he didn't chomp. Finches are neat but you can't house them with hookbills because of the ah, killing problem. A canary would be ideal, I'd like a singer but he'd be at risk too I think.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

the law of infinitesimals, as seen on TV

We have a sat image of the house Captain. Don't know how much good it will do though--it's from twelve miles up.

Can you get in any closer? We know there's a patio table next to that garage, with a red table cloth. We need to know what Newt had for lunch. He claimed scallops, but we think he's lyin.
I may be able to adjust the image subluxation parameters. How's this?

Much better. Can you clean it up?

Let me just tweak the pixel refractorizing algorithm. Give me a minute. This is tricky, the garage casts a's this?

Well whaddaya know--clams, not scallops! Get over to Lily Mere and arrest that Newt bastard and his rat cousin too.


TV and movies have both come to rely on this conceit, most commonly to zoom in on a license plate on a van, at night, from tape taken from a security camera. Blade Runner pioneered this bullshit twenty years ago. Now every TV crime show uses it routinely. Without a Trace, CSI, even Law and Order which used to know better, has succumbed. It saves the screenwriters so much time, it's apparently irresistable.

Not that I watch TV mind you.

At the rate they zoom, each pixel would be the size of a bus. This is the digital graphic equivalent of homeopathy, in which by diluting a substance with 99 parts of water, diluting one part of that solution etc to achieve dilutions of 1/1,000,000 at least, you get a result with--absolutely no value? Au contraire--a super-potent medicine! It's the "law of infinitesimals".

Sunday, June 11, 2006

the prehistoric hair salon

Don't be late--catch the Express!

The first graphic I uploaded to my "personal web site", circa 1996. I don't know what it means, probably nothing. Done in MacPaint. From a folder of old graphics, just found. That's me third from the right, between the kid with the mohawk and the rabbi.

Which reminds me of the common TV conceit, the "infinite zoom".