Wednesday, May 24, 2006

submission and taming of FF

For Internal Use Only. RE: high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) injections. Craving is satisfied in standard measure regardless of delivery mechanism. Target consumer is a "fat fuck" (FF), typically low-awareness easygoing lemming/tool model, willing to part with high portion of disposable income for near-hourly fix.

HFCS's value is its adaptability to disparate delivery mechanisms, samples as follows: Coca-Cola, Oreos, Kellogg's Corn Flakes, Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice, Stove Top Stuffing, Snapple, Wonderbread, Lifesavers, Heinz Ketchup, Eggo Waffles, Miracle Whip, Pop-Tarts, Fig Newtons, Robitussin, Ritz Crackers, NyQuil, Cool Whip, Breyer's Yogurt, Wheat Thins, B&M Baked Beans, Mott's Applesauce, Cherry Garcia ice cream, Girl Scout cookies, Smucker's Grape Jelly, A-1 Steak Sauce, Wish-Bone dressing, Lunchables, Campbell's vegetable soup.

FF is conditioned to crave any one of the above, and more, at interval of ~90 mins. Satisfaction of craving requires purchase of delivery mechanism produced cheaply relative to selling cost, exploiting FF's mental and disciplinary limitations while optimizing profit. HFCS extracts maximum revenue from the FF channel at minimum cost thus is the ideal transfer protocol for moving value from FF to Government/Commercial sektor.

Future enhancements include increased addictive property, brain cell deletion material to accelerate reduction of awareness, and in the longer term, introduction of "purchase triggers" directly in the HFCS, timed to control the frequency and duration of craving. Beyond use of FF as a consuming unit and wealth-transfer device, target will ultimately be subject of chemically induced mind control via HFCS. To be accomplished under the pretext of national security.

GlassFish terminology update

When last we visited the GlassFish site in December, I complained that it was not clear what GlassFish actually was--a community, a project, a server? It seemed to be all of those things and yet...if you downloaded, installed, and started the server, the term "GlassFish" never appeared within it, leading you to wonder if you installed the right thing. Uh, didn't I just install "GlassFish"? Why doesn't it say "Glassfish" anywhere?

I also suggested that what the so-called GlassFish download actually downloads, namely the "Sun Java System Application Server Platform Edition 9.0", is ridiculously named. I suggested instead the "Sun Jas9".

Here five months later is progress, of sorts. GlassFish is still a project and a community. Now it's a technology too! But at least they no longer refer to it as a thing unto itself. The term is now correctly used only as an adjective. That is, they no longer talk about downloading or installing "GlassFish". Instead they say things like "this is the place to download general distribution releases related to Project GlassFish", and they refer to the above ridiculously-named thing as the "SJSAS PE 9.0", which doesn't exactly roll off the tongue but they have to keep their precious "Sun Java" coupled in there, even if it makes the acronym unpronounceable thus useless.

Still, their attempts at explaining themselves remain terrible. On the new GlassFish page is this at the bottom:

Sun Microsystems, the inventor and leading advocate of Java technology, is releasing a preview of the Java EE 5 SDK . the next generation of enterprise Java which includes(1) the Beta version of the Sun Java System Application Server PE 9.0 (SJSAS PE 9.0). The SDK is a defining release because the newest version of enterprise Java makes building robust, scalable enterprise applications easier than ever and is the perfect platform for implementing SOA and Web 2.0 applications. The Java EE 5 SDK is built on(2) the SJSAS PE 9 which is based on the bits developed by the open GlassFish community, led by Sun, who is developing an open source Java EE 5 application server(3).

  1. (1) The Java EE 5 SDK includes a beta version of the server (SJSAS PE 9.0)
  2. (2) The Java EE 5 SDK is built upon the SJSAS PE 9.0, which means it is built on a subset of itself. This is the software equivalent of being your own grandpa. Try to draw a picture of it.
  3. (3) Sun is developing an open source Java EE 5 application server. What, another one, in addition to the SJSAS PE 9.0? No, not a different one--the same one they just mentioned at the beginning of this same sentence!

The downloads page claims that the GlassFish project is an implementation of the Java EE 5 specs. But a project cannot be an implementation of anything. Elsewhere on the page they get it right: the GlassFish community provides milestone builds that implement the current version of the spec.

Friday, May 05, 2006

The Idiot and dependency injection

Detail from The Body of the Dead Christ in the Tomb, Hans Holbein, 1520. This painting plays a central part in Dostoevsky's novel The Idiot which our book club has just read. At the same time, reading about Dependency Injection in the Spring Framework caused conceptual conflation between Christianity and object-oriented programming, as follows.

Prince Myshkin the "idiot" is supposedly a Christ figure, though that was not obvious to me. His innocence waxed and waned depending on the requirements of the plot. But it got me to thinking about the elegance of the structure of Christian belief. Namely that Christ has suffered and died on the cross, to atone for sins you have yet to commit. He has pre-suffered for your convenience. Since as a fallible human you have sinned and (this is the key) will continue to sin, Christianity offers the attractive benefit of a pre-solution. Your problems have already been solved, by Christ's suffering, even before you have them. To take advantage of this great offer, you must merely sign up, to believe His word, and obey Him. In return for which you will get 90 virgins (oops wrong religion), salvation and eternal life in heaven with Him. But hurry, time is limited!

Similarly the Spring framework offers a pre-solution to the problems your Java bean classes will encounter, even before they have them! The Spring framework injects necessary functionality into your bean classes. To take advantage of this great offer, your bean classes must merely sign up, in the spring-servlet.xml file, and obey Spring.

In both cases shortcomings yet-to-happen have been extracted from the unit (a bean class, or you), pre-solved, then made available back to the unit. The result is an improvement in efficiency, at an affordable price!

A pattern that resurfaces in such different domains is compelling indeed.