Wednesday, May 24, 2006

submission and taming of FF

For Internal Use Only. RE: high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) injections. Craving is satisfied in standard measure regardless of delivery mechanism. Target consumer is a "fat fuck" (FF), typically low-awareness easygoing lemming/tool model, willing to part with high portion of disposable income for near-hourly fix.

HFCS's value is its adaptability to disparate delivery mechanisms, samples as follows: Coca-Cola, Oreos, Kellogg's Corn Flakes, Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice, Stove Top Stuffing, Snapple, Wonderbread, Lifesavers, Heinz Ketchup, Eggo Waffles, Miracle Whip, Pop-Tarts, Fig Newtons, Robitussin, Ritz Crackers, NyQuil, Cool Whip, Breyer's Yogurt, Wheat Thins, B&M Baked Beans, Mott's Applesauce, Cherry Garcia ice cream, Girl Scout cookies, Smucker's Grape Jelly, A-1 Steak Sauce, Wish-Bone dressing, Lunchables, Campbell's vegetable soup.

FF is conditioned to crave any one of the above, and more, at interval of ~90 mins. Satisfaction of craving requires purchase of delivery mechanism produced cheaply relative to selling cost, exploiting FF's mental and disciplinary limitations while optimizing profit. HFCS extracts maximum revenue from the FF channel at minimum cost thus is the ideal transfer protocol for moving value from FF to Government/Commercial sektor.

Future enhancements include increased addictive property, brain cell deletion material to accelerate reduction of awareness, and in the longer term, introduction of "purchase triggers" directly in the HFCS, timed to control the frequency and duration of craving. Beyond use of FF as a consuming unit and wealth-transfer device, target will ultimately be subject of chemically induced mind control via HFCS. To be accomplished under the pretext of national security.

2 comments:

Don said...

Huh? Is this some kind of Science Speak?

Neil said...

Memo leaked from the Planetary Council of Overlords, High Fructose Corn Syrup Subinitiative XII. A rare glimpse into plans to enslave the human race through concurrent processes of obesification and stupidification.

PCO Mission Statement:
"Dedicated to fostering the illusion of independence in the meat units, since 1953."