Monday, October 24, 2005

the object-oriented life

Off to the local fitness center, to walk up stairs that go nowhere, to lift heavy objects that don't need moving, and to slog on that metaphor of pointless activity, the treadmill.

Exercise has been "abstracted"--removed from the original context of everyday life, and packaged instead as a separate module.

This is the object-oriented model--remove common tasks from the main program, because they obscure the purpose. Create clearly named modules optimized to perform each task, and move them elsewhere. The purpose of the main program, once stripped of its common tasks, should now be obvious.

Your object-oriented life is chopped into discrete bits that are sold back to you, the capitalist tool.

First, "create the need". Convince you that an activity, say food preparation, you once did as a normal part of life, is actually a burden. Exploit any resentment--if you didn't have to spend all this time tending the soup, you'd have more time to spend on your real purpose in life.

Then provide the solution, for a price. Pre-cooked meals--just add water. Is adding water too much trouble? Put it in the microwave as is. Don't bother to wash the dishes, that's a burden too. Eat the Hearty soup right out of the container you heated it up in, and throw it away. What could be better than push-button ease.

Once all these tasks--exercise, cooking, etc. have been abstracted, commoditized, and sold back to you, whatever remains is your main program. And its purpose should now be obvious.

What remains?

We are consumers of our own lives. We work to make the money to pay for the privilege of running on a treadmill, and consider ourselves lucky.

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