Monday, January 26, 2009

cheese grating jobs

Get you some!

New coffee maker with the cappuccino attachment. I need it! What's cappuccino, anyway. Get a new fridge. SUV. You could use some new clothes. Who doesn't need another pair of Nikes. Cashmere. Fur-trimmed chainsaw. Marble-topped kitchen cabinets. Patriots buy red white and blue Harleys, whether they have the money or not! 35 hp router. Replacement windows. Telescopes. Fishing reels. Pimpstar wheels. Too-high heels.

Because at some point, our jobs all became like Senior Product Manager for Deluxe Cheese Graters, Stainless Steel Division.

Growth requires that people consume more than they need. If you don't buy a stainless steel cheese grater because you already have one, or because your aluminum cheese grater is good enough, or because you don't have enough money to buy a cheese grater, or because you don't even eat cheese or even, most perverse of all, because you simply choose to get by without a cheese grater, the Senior Product Manager is out of a job. And so, eventually, are you, because you like most people have a job that depends on people buying shit they don't need.

So the government has to push money into the economy, to get people to stop being afraid of spending, and get them to start buying those cheese graters again, so we can keep our cheese-grating jobs.

That's the solution.

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